After the
latest data on spam (via
Slashdot) I think that passing an exam before accessing the Internet is in order. Quick, answer these questions:
- First, before surfing: firewalls:
- ...don't need them, I keep a glass of water by the screen just in case it catches fire
- I activate them before I think about connecting to the internet
- Antivirus software:
- ... don't need them either, I keep my computer wrapped tightly in plastic so that it doesn't catches the flu
- I have them all, keep them updated to the minute, and activated at all times
- Patches:
- No, thanks, I already quit smoking
- Apply them as soon as I hear of them
- Now you're on the internet. What do you do if you... receive an email with the subject "I love you":
- I open it inmediately, there's so many unknown people out there who loves me...
- I don't get them, my aforementioned antivirus stops them cold
- ...receive an email that talks about yoru pën1s:
- I feel embarrased, then relieved, then I reach out for my credit card
- I apply it the del-key treatment
- ... receive an email about " Oprah and Tommy Hilfiger " or the like, and which asks to be forwarded:
- I forward it inmediately to all my friends and 2 or 3 persons I don't know, even as I was born in Quintanilla de la Sierra and have never heard about Oprah
- It's a hoax; I politely respond to the person stating this fact
- ... receive a very funny 3 Meg PowerPoint presentation about foot-and-mouth disease:
- I forward it inmediately to the aforementioned list of persons after I stop laughing
- I compress it, ask personally some friends if they have already received it, or they know about it, if they have PowerPoint installed, and then, if then answer positively, email it to them
If you have answered 1 to any of the questions, do this right now: turn off your computer, dress yourself in sackcloth and cover your head with ashes, and exile voluntarily to the Outer Mongolia, because you're personally responsable for making the Internet what it is right now.
